Man with little self-esteem tries to be an emotionally weak partner to be a stro

2021-08-31 21:02:23 KRISTINE

A friend of mine was about 13 years with his girlfriend.

I turned out in turn, although I even gradually learn the contexts in reverse order (am his best friend ).

He and his partner (34) and met at the beginning of 20.

At first, it was good, but over the years, more and more problems snapped until it was this weekend Separation came.

They live in a very small village. I know little about the girlfriend. She lived in the parents' home for a long time, later he moved there, 2 years ago they bought their own house.

She is a very girlish guy with little demands. Friend, house, dog, her huge girls clique, parties with the girls, from time to and to a shortRip with her boyfriend, that's enough.

In emotional things, it is extremely soft, vulnerable, very close to the water and cries for discussions immediately because it has no resilience. At the same time, she attracted her boyfriend, because he has been attractive, worked on its own and financially highly worked and apparent in his cars on social media.

There she predominantly occurs as a girly with her girls, seekers, girl evenings, Excursions, jogging, decoration and garden.

He wanted to be the strong knight who protects her, gives her warmth and something offers. She liked to accept that.

However, he has a history. He suffers below that his rich parents left a nanny in early at a nanny as the jobs had prio. MaterielHe had everything, but no bond, never a real listener.

At first shy, he began to polish his self-esteem with conquests and fought themselves from the secondary school with moderate benefits over the 2nd educational path in 2 courses and is now in very well-paid position.

in He was often compared to his family with others, was never good enough and gained the missing self-esteem about girls, chic cars, etc.

At the beginning of the relationship with his girlfriend, it ran well, but more and more missing him. He suppressed her dental tendency to burden her. Later, he sought ONE NIGHT stands to satisfy this need, because he no longer held it, still loved it.

And more he came into the roleof the noble knight until he was getting unhappy / dissatisfied. He could never pronounce her because she is weak and problems go out. He made the accident death of his best buddies and broke together several time later.

He had the need to drop himself and he himself, but he did not dare, because he was strong wanted to be.

He became dissatisfied and irritated, they argued, she had nothing to contribute to him and cried only. The dispute became more and more, he pulled back more and more. Last week she separated from him.

Question: Does a man have to afford to be always strong for the woman and what opportunity has such a relationship?


Question: Does a man have to afford to be always strong for the woman and what opportunity has such a relationship?

No, certainly not. No one can demand that from him and he himself can not demand that because that would be the ideal breeding ground for their own mental health problems. Some time can be done, if necessary, by building aerial locks and an introduced residential mood ("Everything is fine and others are much worse" ------> I know the litany only too well) compensate, but Not forever. One day, as well as apparently, this bubble bursts, because the partner can no longer endure this logically oppressive atmosphere with time and then fertilize each other.

Here, crass obviously came together obviously two people who are too different to harmonize (not always pulling opposites) and have never met. It would not be surprised if one day one of the two - no matter which - complains about some events and years of life, etc.


Must a man Of course, it is always strong for the woman

not. But I guess, he wants that. Because he gets confirmation, and he seems to need.

Which opportunity has such a relationship?

Obviously none if you have separated. I mean, I'm already surprised. Would have expected that they stay together, weIl it "That's what you do". And because of the house, separation with shared home ownership is always fies. But the relationship would have existed rather only in front of him. It would have much work by both people to make sure it works. And you have previously described people who have no interest in working in themselves.


It will always be great from us to be strong and no feelings to show that should finally make a man. Nevertheless, it seems to be forgotten, which we are only humans and there are enough for us, which are built close to the water.

One should be able to rely on each other in a relationship, say both should be there for each other And not only he for her. ToOutside we show all the strength in order not to be weak, but ultimately we also have a soft core

true strength also means showing weakness and allow feelings and because you have to be able to rely on his partner as a man, exactly Just as you can rely on him.


of course not.

Take responsibility and play the strong knight requires a lot of energy. Of course, that's nice and comfortable for the opposite, it can continue to be a child.

He has to take his own nose, because he has been pushed into this role / urge.

This could remain child, instead of taking responsibility.

Solution: He has to realize what he does. SInnerly, the work-up of the past would be. And then he should gradually transfer more responsibility to her. Of course, this is not for you from today. She has to rinse and learn it.

A relationship coach would be helpful, someone who defines the rules and


"He wanted to be the strong knight who she wanted to be Protected, gives her warmth and something offers. "

As a man, I think that's good for the relationship. Nevertheless, as a man, one should share his feelings such as fear, grief, anger with the partner. Try to speak constructively with the partner. That's not a contradiction, I think

Man with little self-esteem tries to be an emotionally weak partner to be a strong protective partner, can do the relationship on something like that?