For me, this is such a kind of mental disruption that has developed that I need a lot of attention. Has something to do with my past. That's why I have sexual intercourse (sometimes even for money) & style me always completely on getting compliments and recognition.
At that time I was in a strictly baptist community, had to wear long skirts & tops, always wearing a braid & was not allowed to make me make sure I had a bad skin. We had so many prohibitions & God was always portrayed as very rich. And all this has impressed me, I was not allowed to do anything. Do not even dance, it was always if you were that and the tust you come to hell. Even with the simple things. And we had so many rules, it was bad.
Until we have escaped.
I have grown as a pretty girl because I have done sports, I re-developed & my skin became good.
Since then, I am often on parties and needed exaggerated recognition because I only laughed at the time and was as ugly and was forbidden. Really everything we were not allowed to have hobbies. Not even such things like gymnastics, swimming or horseback riding. When I was bullied it was also my name, I can not change myself, but have to let it like it because I am a Christian.
And although I had really very bad experiences with the faith, I still believer.
And I know that is a sin, but I can not go to God with this sin because I'm not sorry and Ino want to show a false remorse. I need that .. I do not know how it would be when I grew up differently. But who is not in my situation does not understand that. Can not stop right now.
But I do not want to go to hell, unfortunately, unfortunately
And I do not know what to do, I need time until I'm firm again in faith because I did not have good experiences.
I predict that you deliberately convert yourself. If not that would be the first step.
Had to wear long skirts & tops, always wear a braid & was not allowed to make me make ... do not even dance
Boy, boy, but they are extremely strict.
On the subject of clothes:
5.mosis 22: 5 A woman should not have male matters on himself, and a man should not attract women's clothes; Because everyone who does this is a grower, your God, a grower.
Pants are not pure men's clothing. In the past, men have worn long robes. So if a woman wears pants, that is not a violation of this verse.
1.Timotheus 2.9: I also want the women in Honorary decency withYamkeeping and breeding adorn , not with hair braid or gold or pearl or elaborate clothing,
Very short and narrow-fitting pants are involved in the verse. Because such sexual stimuli can be awakened. (Yamkeeping, breeding).
But there are also enough non-tight pants that can carry a Christine without any problems.
That with the braid is also exaggerated.
I was not allowed to make me make up
Coming on ...
In your case, with the bad skin, I find make-up arrangement. It should be clear that it arrives on the interior, not on the exterior. If you make a vanity to increase the self-esteem, that's not really in the meaning of God. God already wound usEarlier created, we do not have to increase our value.
A subtle, not exaggerated, make-up, I personally think arrangement.
God was always portrayed as being very evil.
False God. God is fair and can not ignore sin, but he also loves and is merciful.
Jn 15:13 Love Nobody than that has a life for his friends.2Mo 34.6
and the Lord passed over before his face and shouted: The Lord, the Lord, the strong God, the Merciful and slowly to the Zor N and Great grace and loyalty;
And God gladly forgives us when we repent and ask:
1JOH 1.9 But if we confess our sins, then He loyal and fair that he forgives us the sins and pursues us from all injustice.
1JOH 2.1 My children, I write you this, so you do not sin! And If someone sins, Thus, we have a forspeaker at the father, Jesus Christ, the righteous;
Do not even dance
Nothing speaks against dancing. When King David brought the federal loading to Jerusalem, he danced away from joy. The Lord did not resist him.
We were not allowed to have hobbies
That too is exaggerated. Reading the answer: https://www.gutefrage.net/nage/wie-kann-ich-meine-hobbies-Lease#answer-396846218
And although I really bad Experiences with the faith had I still believer.
And that's good! You have made bad experiences with an extremely strict faith, not with God himself! Did you ever tell you about a personal relationship with Jesus Christ? GOtt wants a relationship to us . Then the faith is really lively and it is easier to live after faith. To maintain this relationship is daily Bible reading and praying important. Through the Bible, the Lord speaks to you and in prayer you talk to him.
But I can not go to God with this sin because I'm not sorry and I do not want to show false remorse
After all, you're honest :) Then please give God for remorse. If it must be with endurance over some time, but please remute. Please Jesus for help.
Since then I have often been at parties and needed Exaggerated recognition ,
Such Help. Since you are a Christian I would advise against a believer therapist or pastor. This can then also be based on yoursHelp shared glaubes.
Your self estimate does not depend from the recognition of other people. You are loved by God! Les appropriate verses and make that aware ( Here you can search for verses and find quickly)
Trys so well it is to stop with these sins, look for help (best of Christians) And please Jesus for help.
I also recommend you to search for you again. A Bible loyalty municipality, but which is not so exaggerated strict. (But not too lash) There you will be able to help you with regard to faith and pastoral help you should find there too.
That will not be easy, but you can do it with God's help! Do not lose hope and look for itFe.
Greetings and God's blessing.
I also grew up in a baptistic environment. After I've been converting what a great euphoria triggered in me, I experienced a very big disappointment: all the other were unchanged, she trapped as before, charming was rather a desk, rules were more important than people, etc.
There was a blockade in me and the thought of baptizing me was exting.
I did not do anything in the direction of years for years.
Later I came to the spiritual way and It became more and more clear for me: all the teachings and concepts that proclaim something other than God is pure unconditional love, are manipulative and have with love and religionNothing to do.
This applies to the remaining fragments in your mental equipment, so I wish you to permanent these harmful beliefs finally.
It is enough, loving, friendly and be forgiving to be in harmony with life and thus also with God.
All the best ...
I'm not believed and know me therefore not with the sins, etc., but you should go in therapy (not meant evil), as you seem to try to displace your trauma with unhealthy patterns of behavior or overcome what will only harm this way.
Unfortunately, religion has spoiled you. Like billions others, you are not alone.
For the first, you say "the" God, so a man, that's totally wrong. Where is his wife? The Ashera? Right! They have taken away and cursed in the bible views, stands in the Bible.
Think of whether you can believe that the almighty requires a gender. And then you start from the beginning. Forget "Words of God", these are only human words and lied.
Search for therapistous help.
If you are looking for attractment sickness, that's not healthy and you can help you