Why did my mother struck me?

2021-09-01 13:05:00 HATTIE

Hello,

My mother struck me very much as a child so I even bleeded.

I'm trying to understand them what this is. She had e.g. A mother that was exactly like her, ie inherited.

But why do I say anyone?

Can there other reasons? She has already done it when I was small and defenseless, even the door when I cried and so.

Should I forgive her? It was much more! But somehow I do not want to contact (not since 4 years). And somehow I would like to have an apology. But she meant she would have been much too much, etc.

What can be behind it Why does it? Can you basically say what you love that does not beat?

Michael

Some people hardened internally if they grow up under poor conditions. This has evidently been the case with your mother.
She has had suffered and with her pain has developed a lot of anger over time, which she then omitted - the (bad) 'role model' of her mother according to you has.
Such a development is not uncommon, but it can also be - as with you - a different development possible. For example, for example, 'swearing', would definitely want to do it later!
I'm glad you can preserve a 'feeling heart'!

Maurice

Hello,

Yes, First of all, I have to find that it is never good to beat a child. Unfortunately that wasin the past "as good as usual", and today one is (at least in our culture and in credible studies, as I would say) agree that this never can be a way for a good education and that this is quite a confidence construction of the Child affects parents. Often it even prevents it.

And it reminds me pretty much about my childhood (Anm: This was in the 70s). My father, actually a loving person who has always dealt with his children, so my younger brother and me, much more, more than most fathers in the time at that time, did this relatively often, then when he too much became. When we believed in his opinion, or "cheeky" were, so something told what children never sayThere are probed points that were evaluated as a swim words. Or we had supposedly lied to him, etc., or when he thought was that our room was too messy and we were still too loud while playing, he exploded once. My mother did almost never. But she had collected bad experiences in her childhood with her father, as he was very strict. But she believed that it was for my father with the beating (or slapping, as it was always mentioned) O.K. was because in the 1970s this was still considered a common educational method, and a woman should just be rather little to a man when it was serious.

And now there may be something that could have dealing with your question:

MA father was fast angry, and minutes later again gently and emotional. You can actually say he was a split personality. And: He was always convinced that this was "to be" with his responsibility. That one certain things as a child "only realized in this way". Probably (and I believe today) Many parents think that this even has to do with love to the children, "because it could be good for them". Or parents are not aware of what they actually do for damage here, and actually act from short, and then say, "it was necessary". So far I have not looked out yet. I had no great out for meEffects. Possibly, however, I did not trust my opinion so quickly to say my opinion on conscience, as I secretly "fear" that this could have evil consequences. I then built that slowly. But think about life, this has even promoted it.

In any case, I never understood as a child and was sometimes pretty rebellious to my father. But rather breastfeeding. I closed to him pretty much and talked more about lonely things with my mother.

A short time later (around 1980), there was already a campaign point of education "love instead of bats", ie non-violent education of the children. This was my father (which I could remember) is still strange. Probably becauseHe could not imagine that they could also educate children differently?

At the latest in the 90s, this was quite official, with non-violent education. My wife and I have a daughter (today already adult), and this was never beaten by us. I would never have brought that together. But in my opinion, there was never a reason. She was always a child who was quiet and could also deal with himself with himself and it was also important for them that we were always talking about everything with her. But even if there was an occasion "to the game", this was never an option.

I can understand that you still want to explore it today, why you've been beaten. You can do your mother theSe quietly ask you to explain it to you, which has seen it in it. I can understand that she does not care as a mother. If she says she was still too squeamish, I can not understand that honestly. So that it could not be sorry somehow. Do you believe that it does not matter to have no contact with you? However, if you wanted one, she should already construct the past together with you, or there is a trouble. You could declare you in this case quietly what she saw as good education. And she should already understand that as a child one wants no contact.

At my father it was so that I was actually later than I grow up, only little DArob had approached (but later it managed to have a fairly normal son-father relationship with him). My mother died about 10 years ago and that made him creating. When my daughter was small, but as grandfather, he would never have come up with the idea if she was with him (or in my parents alone, but what rarely occurred) that he would beat her, since he "today as no longer usual "Then, or he said, education is the cause of the parents. Sometimes I confronted him with a few stories from our childhood, and said "that with the Face Slapping", and he then always meant dimming, "Well, that was the right!" My wife always had the opinion about him (ie her father-in-law) that he probably zIt was scared, because once he was afraid of things of everyday life and then again he was very different and talked totally nice and much, so a typical choleric. Often he changed the topics very fast, perhaps another proof, what a sudden man he was.

It is also the question of how other relatives find your mother. Do you have any opinions that you are a peculiar personally, or are there problems with other relatives? Unless there is contact here. This does not have to be.

These were just a few tried analyzes about people who beat their children or do this from time to time. As I said, I do not understand this today, but unfortunately there is often enough.

Marc

Unfortunately, it is so that one (many people) continues what you know.

Even if you know how bad it is, you are trapped in patterns that you can only break through alone. That seems to be like that with your mother.

Well, since she says you should not be so squeamish, she will apologize for sure (yet not yet).

Wait something else And if you are really ready, you can seek the conversation with her.

You should be quiet and so little accusingly as possible, that you want to have a statement that you want to bring that behind you and you Also say what that did with you.

You will see what happens then. Maybe your mother manifies it and you both can do somethingIt start.

If you do not do it, unfortunately you have to live with it. But you can help you therapeutically help you do not pursue the whole life.

All love for you.

Darryl

I would stop after the first sentence and that Google word youth welfare office.

Why did my mother struck me?

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