How can I distance myself?

2021-09-01 15:01:29 ROGELIO

Hey, so go to my ex. He raped me recently, and beaten. Normally, I can make such a great distance between me and my problems that I do not feel her, but this time does not work. My teachers have already addressed me why I am so frightful and unconcentricated. And then there are this guilt, because of what happened. And I can not sleep since then.

But classmates and especially my sister depend on it that I am calm and concentrated. How can I just leave that behind me as soon as possible?



Please trust the facts to an adult! Also go to the police, as your ex-boyfriend has made it punishable.
You do not worry about that he did something like that!
You should also visit a psychologist and talk to him.



Since he raped you, the consistent step would be an ad in the police . Such persons must learn that they are not simply coming through. You would otherwise do even worse deeds.

Such events are usually worked up with a psychologist. Trying the self is not responsible.


To supplement my original answerN:

You can not, when you are loved yourself if you do not do that yourself. The self-esteem must not exist by other persons. Because that's just pretty fragile. Learn yourself to accept.

Your words. Do not you mean that you should consider your own advice? If you do not do that, you lose authenticity.

If your little sister would be in your situation if you had that happened what happened to you; Would you want you to do as you do?

No? Then you should not act like that either. She will see you, with security bordering probability, as a great role model: You are your role model.

And people, especially children, imitate their role model, to him.

What do you demonstrate with your behavior? Ever thought about it?

You demonstrate that you should always hire yourself and your own well-being. And that one, if it is bad, should repress one's own feelings instead of talking about it. And what does one imply with it?

That your own feelings can be wrong. That it is more important to work to be happy. That it is unimportant, how to feel that one is unimportant.

Is it what you want to demonstrate your sister what you want to live in?


Then handle according to what you would advise others in your situation. Imagine someone else would have asked this question. Think about which advice du would give this person. And then consider why you did not follow this advice itself. Because you're "different" or less? Bullshit.

Everyone is different, nobody is the same, that makes life interesting. And you are just as much value as everyone else. For some more, for some less. For you, however, you should be worth at least as much as the others. Otherwise it is about your own self-esteem and you should really work on it.


I'm sorry that you have happened to you - nevertheless, 'as soon as possible' behind you not at all.

You probably will have to lead several conversations with a therapist in order to be able to complete at some point. Permanent ExposureYour problems and especially feelings, brings you in the end of the worst case. This is not a way to destroy yourself to destroy yourself.

I advise you to open yourself to an adult of your trust. Be a teacher, the school social worker, your parents - at least you have to talk about it, absolutely too, so that the perpetrator gets his fair punishment, you do not wear any debt. Nobody has earned to be raped, you can not.

I wish you good luck - a hard way, I hope you can not break you and have the courage to tell you.


Are you not 11 or 12 years? Old, snowmond?

That what you do there is damn unwise. Yes, I know you are quite far for your ageAnd you certainly know that - but here you make a big mistake.

You can not just rationalize something like that and thus displace, that does not work, let alone, it works long-term.

By the way:

If you bring together sometime - and you will do if you do not work traumatic experiences, it's just a matter of time - then you can be there for no one, neither for your classmates , still for your sister.

So, in the interest of which you want to protect you too, take care of yourself!

That means that you first look for someone who is familiar to you, best of all you are looking for. You need a "ally" that stands behind you.

Then you have toWho you want to deal with what happened:

How do you make sure that there is no risk anymore? Do you indicate him? Are you breaking the contact? What is possible, what makes sense, what do you want?


How do you hurt your soul? Are you trying it yourself, then you need family and friends who support you - and even that, guarantees no success. Or do you get help, in the form of a therapy, and if yes, outpatient or part-stationary?

think about it.

For the beginning, I suggest that you apply to a counseling center, offering very low-threshold conversation offers, for example the child protection association with the children's and youth phone (number against grief).

I wish you good luck and allIt's good!

How can I distance myself?